This weeks blog is about my fears after Louis was diagnosed with ADHD, medication and Home Education.
From the point of Louis receiving his official diagnosis of ADHD, on I googled and googled everything I could, and all it did was fill me with utter fear. I felt that my child will now never work, will live with me all his life and have no life but how wrong I was, thank God.
Over the next few years things were up and down as they are with all children but especially SEN children, Louis became more sensitive to others perspective of him and as always there was the bullying. He did however make a great bunch a friends who were also SEN children, and I became great friends with their mums too. It still amazes me today how much these children will gravitate towards each other and it really does make my heart burst for them too. They are all so accepting, kind, tolerant and beautiful towards each other and it wouldn’t do the world any harm to watch and learn from them. I also found this with the mums too. We were accepting of each other and our children. There was never any judgement or criticism that we faced when we went out in public.
When Louis was in school year four, against my husband’s wishes I took the decision to start medicating Louis. He had been saying to me that he couldn’t concentrate and that his friends didn’t like him because he would call out the answers right or wrong, and that him being over excited annoyed them and they didn’t like him. But the biggest factor for me that his dad didn’t see was the after school melt downs, which I would have dealt with and got him over before this dad came home. All Pete saw was his happy son who said that his day wasn’t that bad. But I had spent 3 hours of taking him and his sister to the park, coming home and calming him down, giving him a snack, because some of the problem was hunger, doing the homework and getting the dinner on. Don’t get me wrong, at no point did I think oh Louis feels this way so I’ll start to medicate him, it was a mixture of what his teachers had been feeding back, listening to other parents and what Louis thought and felt too.
In the beginning it was great, he was on a very low dose and all was well. I’d been warned about the reduced appetite and that we would have to monitor his weight and height, so we made sure he had a big breakfast as he didn’t really want lunch and that he had a big dinner. Louis was doing lots of out of school clubs including gymnastics, swimming, cubs and football.
He said that his friends started to like him again, that he could concentrate in class as well as feedback from his teacher to say how well he was doing. Right I thought, we’ve cracked it and now he’s doing really really well in all aspects of his life, perfect, and he did for a year. Alas it wasn’t to be, this was in year 4 that we started the medication, by the time we came to the end of the school year and started into year 5 the bullying became worse, or Louis’ perception of it. Whichever it was, it was Louis’ truth and he was becoming very low, very quiet, he didn’t want to go and do his afterschool clubs, he didn’t want people over, he started to become very depressed and then the words that made my bones chill, ‘Mummy, I feel like I’m watching my life through a TV screen’.
By this point I had a few friends who where home educating there children. I had never heard of it before but it sounded amazing! I was also pregnant with Archie!
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